Lifting Each Other

From Robert D Hales, Celestial Marriage: A Little Heaven on Earth, BYU Speech, 9th November 1976.

I would now like to discuss the partnership aspect of marriage and family life.

Let us talk frankly for a moment. Marriage is like climbing a mountain. You tie yourself to a companion, and you start up the mountain of life. As a child comes along, you tie him to mom and dad and continue your journey. The ropes will hold all of the mountain climbers together. But there are many elements—the wind and the rain and the snow and the ice—all the elements of the world will tear at you to pull you off that eternal mountain. How do you reach the summit? If either mom or dad cuts the rope which binds them, chances are that one or the other may fall off the mountain and perhaps pull down some of the rest of the family. The whole family could fall off that gospel mountain and not reach that eternal summit. Let us always be mindful that, as older brothers and sisters, you are also tied to this mountain team that is attempting to return back into the presence of your Heavenly Father. If you cut the rope that binds you to mom and dad and fall off the mountain—chances are that you will take one or two of your brothers and sisters with you. You can’t take that chance. You, by definition, are a leader.

Someone has said it this way: “Thee lift me, and I’ll lift thee, and we’ll ascend together.” What does that mean? I can remember an experience in my life that illustrates this idea. I was at Harvard Business School. I was stretched to my capacity. In the first year of that institution, the teachers take away every bit of self-confidence you have, no matter what your background is before you get there, so that you learn what it’s like to have to achieve more than you’ve ever done in your life before. The program is designed to teach you how to think under pressure. They try to duplicate real life.

At an important point in my schooling, a mission president, John E. Carr, asked me to be an elders quorum president. It is the only time in my life that I ever questioned an assignment. I went home to talk to my wife. For every woman here and every man here the question will come in life, “When is the time to serve? When is the right time?” The only answer I can give you is, “When you are asked.” So I went home and said to my wife, “There is a chance of failing in my schooling if I become an elders quorum president.” She said to me the words which have helped for many years: “Bob, I would rather have an active priesthood holder than a man who holds a master’s degree from Harvard.” But as she put her arms around me, she said, “We’ll do them both.” That is eternal partnership.

“Thee lift me, and I’ll lift thee, and we’ll ascend together”—that’s the message.

Close quote.

Your Replacement

The Book of Mormon, Mosiah 1:9
"And it came to pass that after king Benjamin had made an end of teaching his sons, that he waxed old, and he saw that he must very soon go the way of all the earth; therefore, he thought it expedient that he should confer the kingdom upon one of his sons."

As a mission, the concept of our "replacements" was taught.

The following imagery and story demonstrates perfectly.

A young man goes on a mission, and toils all the months and years with one baptism. He returns home joyfully.

Meanwhile, said baptised friend engages also in missionary work where the missionary has left his ward. He has become his missionary's replacement.

And so, is penned the words of motivation and vision for one who engages in the Lord's work: "find your replacement."

King Benjamin taught his sons well. It was time for him to leave, like our young missionary in the story had left the ward. Now King Benjamin was leaving the way of all the earth. He raised his replacement.

Goal Setting, Planning, and Donkeys

From Elder Robert D Hales, Making Righteous Choices at the Crossroads of Life, October 1988.

Life’s plan and the challenge to be successful are demonstrated in an Aesop Fable, “The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey.” The objective of the man and the boy was to journey to the city marketplace and sell the donkey for winter provisions. As they started to town, the father rode the donkey. In the first village, the villagers said, “What an inconsiderate man, riding the donkey and making his son walk!” So the father got off the donkey and let his son ride.

In the next hamlet, the people whispered, “What an inconsiderate boy, riding the donkey and making his father walk!”

In frustration, the father climbed on the donkey; and father and son rode the donkey, only to have the people in the next town declare, “How inconsiderate of the man and the boy to overload their beast of burden and treat him in such an inhumane manner!”

In compliance with the dissident voices and mocking fingers, the father and son both got off the donkey to relieve the animal’s burden, only to have the next group of onlookers say, “Can you imagine a man and a boy being so stupid as to not even use their beast of burden for what it was created!”

Then, in anger and total desperation, having tried to please all those who offered advice, the father and son both rode the donkey until it collapsed. The donkey had to be carried to the marketplace. The donkey could not be sold. The people in the marketplace scoffed, “Who wants a worthless donkey that can’t even walk into the city!”

The father and son had failed in their goal of selling the donkey and had no money to buy the winter provisions they needed in order to survive.

How much different the outcome would have been if the father and son had had a plan to follow. Father could have said, “I’ll ride the donkey one-third of the way; Son, you ride the donkey one-third of the way; and we’ll both walk the last third of the way. The donkey will arrive at the marketplace fresh and strong, ready to be sold.”
Then, as they received confusing advice while traveling through each hamlet and village along their way to the city, they could look at each other, give a reassuring wink of the eye, and say, “We have a plan.”

Indeed, you and I have a plan to guide us in our lives—the eternal plan that was given to us in the premortal world and that will bring us back into the presence of our Heavenly Father. During our mortal probation on earth, we will be tested with enticements and opposition in all things. But if we are obedient and faithful to the laws, ordinances, and covenants which we accept with our free agency, of our own free will and choice, we can attain eternal life.

Close quote.

See It Through to the End

"I think you should see it through to the end." a wise friend told me, suggesting counsel.

As I read and studied and pondered the scriptures this morning, I was reminded of her words. They have actually echoed a few times in my mind since she first said them, and I believe the important spiritual principle taught therein is of eternal value.

The principle answers the following questions (and more) that we may tend to ask.

• How do I continue to love my disobedient and wayward child?
• What if this righteous woman/man doesn't end up liking me? (for the YSA...)
• How can my life be of worth to God when it is full of failure and falling short?
• What is the purpose of me doing a task when it is not bringing results, but I know it is what God wants me to do? (Such as missionary work, keeping a commandment, or staying loyal and faithful to a spouse.)

Let me look at some examples:

Nephi, for example, saw his brothers through to the end. The adjectives used to describe Laman and Lemuel include: stiffneckedness, hardness of heart and murmuring. Nephi even received vision of his brothers' eternal downfall (*searching for reference*).

If God had given Nephi such a vision, why would he continue to preach and teach his stiffnecked brothers the truth? That is a question worth pondering. It gives insight on the character of Christ, and of what true love is.

Christ is the ultimate example of all principles of truth. He Himself suffered death, and progressed through resurrection for all of us to be resurrected - not just for some of us, else those who don't resurrect will be consigned to live with the adversary for eternity (2 Nephi 9:8-10). He saw us through to the end.

For every sin repented of, He suffered for. Not some.

As for ourselves in following Christ and Nephi's examples, here are some principles to ponder:

• We are held responsible for what we do with our agency - whether or not we used as much as we could as a team with God to carry out the duties given to us in mortality.
• We are not responsible for others' use of agency.

This quote places the two above truths into one: "If you do not magnify your calling, God will hold you responsible for those you might have saved, had you done your duty." (President John Taylor, President Monson: "The Call of Duty", April 1986).

And so, we carry out our duty to the end. That is the vision of the Lord, no matter the result we may think we foresee, and no matter the actual result that comes. "For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works" (Matthew 16:27). You see, we are rewarded according to how we work, not according to results.

We have a duty to others, in helping them help themselves; in strengthening our brethren and sisters; in being our brother's and sister's keeper.

A wise friend once shared these pearls of wisdom, teaching the principle of duty in this way: "Don't forget to invite - when you don't, you take away their agency." Surely we will be held responsible for that.

See your loved ones (even the hard-to-love ones) and just-met ones through to the end.

"Therefore, forsake the world, and save your souls; for what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (JST Matthew 16:29). We see here the desire of God to save us - so we can confess ourselves guilty of selfishness if we are not taking care of our own souls through willingly and faithfully keeping the commandments. Hence, see yourself through in keeping the commandments to the end.

These scriptures and examples can shed a little more light on what it means to endure to the end. I have only expressed that essential principle of the gospel in different words: "See it through to the end!" I pray we receive the grace of God sufficient for our days of challenge, testing and learning. Hymn #30 says it this way: "Grace shall be as your day." Let us see all good things through to the end! No matter what the outcome - for any temporary failure or success will be endowed with eternal glory in the end anyway.


*Having read through this post, I realize it is lacking in flow of clarity and structure. I will fix it when time permits me.*

You Are What You Eat

“Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil and to choose the good.” (2 Nephi 17:15).

Butter and honey are quite healthy!

What interests me is the use of the word "that" meaning His consumption of butter and honey brings about the effect of knowledge between good and evil.

A result of living the Word of Wisdom.

I think this goes deeper also. Think of butter and honey.

Butter has been known in the world's history as an agent of cleansing and healing, a symbol of perfecting and a quality food accompaniment of divine class. Even religious in its involvement in rituals (https://www.dairygoodness.ca/butter/the-history-of-butter, 2015).

Spiritually speaking, do I have my daily butter? Personally, my limited education on nutrition and health has me restricting myself on butter intake out of fear of cholesterol building up in my blood vessels. Spiritually speaking, the butter has a quality that should be partaken of daily. Much like applying the healing, cleansing, perfecting and divine aspects of the Atonement into our lives daily.

Want to find answers to life's troubling and wounding questions? Search the scriptures with the deepest prayer and desires. Want to come closer to God? Pray like you've never prayed before, all day long in your heart, often on your knees, speaking to God as a close and respected friend. Partake of His spiritual butter!

What about honey?

Honey has been known to have an eternal shelf-life. Honey has no expiration date! Amina Harris, executive director of the Honey and Pollination Center at the Robert Mondavi Institute at Univeristy of California, Davis explains, “Honey in its natural form is very low moisture. Very few bacteria or microorganisms can survive in an environment like that, they just die. They’re smothered by it, essentially” (http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-science-behind-honeys-eternal-shelf-life-1218690/).

Is my life like that honey? Do I lack the character traits, habits, ideals and lack-of-disciplines that would allow evil, messiness, and temptation to enter my life?

The Saviour's Atonement is known to have an eternal and continuous influence upon those who allow it to have such an effect. I believe that partaking of daily, spiritual honey will have that sort of influence.

Compare spiritual butter, milk and honey to spiritual MacDonald's or KFC (eww). Or spiritual junk food.

Compare uplifting music to demeaning music that drives the Spirit away.

Compare edifying and charitable language to language that criticises, judges, is quick to advise and slow to listen.

What we partake of each day defines more and more who we become, in books, music, food, movies, language, behaviour, kindness, etc.

Let's monitor and improve our daily diet.

Don't Pull Up the Plant!

The wisdom of one's mission president remains forever a source of strength throughout the returned missionary's life. I am no different.

One such word of wisdom with awakening wonders in my world are President Lon Edgar Henderson's words during a time of my struggle:

"Elder Aaron Jordan Kaw, don't pull up the plant! Do you know what I mean when I say don't pull up the plant? You work hard, and you work faithfully. You plant seeds and do God's will. Then you get to a point where your plant begins to grow. You're excited! You're amazed! But you then want to see how well it is growing. So, in anxiety to know how you're doing, in anxiety that you aren't receiving the blessings you might expect early enough, and in anxiety that you're missing the mark you should be getting, you pull up the plant. This shocks the plant and affects its growth. Despite the fact that the plant is growing well, and now you've witnessed it, you have affected its growth by pulling it up. Planting it can encourage it to continue growing, but you've retarded its growth."

If only I could remember all the sentences and words he spoke - above is a paraphrase.

I was guilty of this on my mission - too eager to pull up the plant too early!

In an article titled, “Open Carefully, So the Love Won’t Escape”, Rex C. Stallings reflects upon his learnt life lesson of finding love within each given gift, and ensuring there is always gratitude.

We didn’t have a lot of money, so we tried to get things that were practical. But many a Christmas Eve, as my wife and I prepared the presents around the tree and finished wrapping the gifts, I would find myself in a state of near-panic. I would think, “What if they open these gifts and don’t like them? What if they think we haven’t given them the things they want because we don’t love them?” 

To help lessen this panic, I tried to postpone the moment of opening the presents. We started a tradition that on Christmas morning we would all get up, dress, say family prayers, and eat breakfast. Then we would go in around the tree. And just in case postponement didn’t do the trick, I would give “the lecture.” 

“We have a lot of presents,” I’d begin. “We want you to know that inside each box and each package is wrapped up our great love for you. So we will open the presents very carefully, one at a time. If we just rip them open and grab whatever is inside, the love may escape unnoticed. After all, the love that is with the gift is greater than the gift itself.” 

After my lecture we sat around the tree and opened our gifts, not in wild excitement, but in quiet appreciation and love for one another.

Trusting in the Lord is also trust in His timing and His ways.

What plants are you growing in your life? Schooling? Work? Family? Talents?

Grow them His way.

President Boyd K Packer

President Boyd K Packer was a level of master teacher - the way he presented truths and taught lessons seemed to clear the clouds from my mind, and many-a-times I would find myself enlightened by his words.

With the recent passing of President Boyd K Packer, I share here quotes of his words that have influenced my life immensely. Truly, I believe and know he was an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ!

Regarding our Heavenly Father, President Packer commented: "Of all other titles He could have used, He chose to be called Father."

"Your secret yearnings and tearful pleadings will touch the heart of both the Father and the Son."

"Just as chalk can be removed from a blackboard, with sincere repentance the effects of our transgression can be erased through the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

"Fear is the opposite of faith."

"Faith is a real power, not just an expression of belief."

"Keep the fire of your testimony of the restored gospel and your witness of our Redeemer burning so brightly that our children can warm their hands by the fire of your faith."

"The Spirit is a voice that one feels more than one hears."

"The Lord has a way of pouring pure intelligence into our minds to prompt us, to guide us, to teach us, to warn us."

"The scriptures hold the keys to spiritual protection."

"How supernally precious freedom is; how consummately valuable is the agency of man."

"Our whole social order could self-destruct over the obsession with freedom disconnected from responsibility; where choice is imagined to be somehow independent of consequences."

"We are not obedient because we are blind, we are obedient because we can see."

"Thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can gain courage, conquer fear and live a happy life."

"The word discipline sometimes touches a slightly rebellious chord in our natures. Remember that it comes from the word disciple."

"There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother."

"Your responsibility as a father and a husband transcends any other interest in life."

"Marriage and children are not part of the Plan of Happiness. It IS the Plan of Happiness."

"People today wonder if there is a safe place to raise children. There IS a safe place. It is in a gospel-centered home."

"Don't live so that your children go unled because of habits that leave you uninspired."

"Fathers, I would remind you of the sacred nature of your calling. You have the power of the priesthood directly from the Lord to protect your home. There will be times when all that stands as a shield between your family and the adversary's mischief will be that power. You will receive direction from the Lord by way of the gift of the Holy Ghost."

Speaking about his wife, Donna, President Boyd K Packer said, "Because of the office I hold, I have a solemn obligation to tell the truth: She's perfect."


And finally, a poem and a story.


I know that He will come anew
with power and in glory.

I know I will see Him once again
at the end of my life's story.

I'll kneel before His wounded feet;
I'll feel His Spirit glow.

My whispering, quivering voice will say,
'My Lord, my God, I know.'


World War II was a time of great spiritual turmoil for me. I had left my home in Brigham City, Utah, with only embers of a testimony, and I felt the need for something more. Virtually our whole senior class in a matter of weeks was on its way to the war zone. While stationed on the island of Ie Shima, just north of Okinawa, Japan, I struggled with doubt and uncertainty. I wanted a personal testimony of the gospel. I wanted to know!

During one sleepless night, I left my tent and entered a bunker which had been formed by lining up 50-gallon fuel drums filled with sand and placed one on top of the other to form an enclosure. There was no roof, and so I crawled in, looked up at the star-filled sky, and knelt to pray.

Almost mid-sentence it happened. I could not describe to you what happened if I were determined to do so. It is beyond my power of expression, but it is as clear today as it was that night more than 65 years ago. I knew it to be a very private, very individual manifestation. At last I knew for myself. I knew for a certainty, for it had been given to me. After some time, I crawled from that bunker and walked, or floated, back to my bed. I spent the rest of the night in a feeling of joy and awe.


Rest in Peace, till we meet (and for some of us, till we meet again),
President Boyd K Packer.

Christlike Character

I ponder back to the many times in my life when I have been unkind, unsympathetic, mean, cruel, judgmental, questioning, doubtful, unloving, or otherwise negative. I look upon moments like those with regret.

My thoughts have been led by the Spirit this morning, to the jewels of knowledge found in Matthew 11:28-30.

In the past, I have feared the effort required to give God my life. The yoke sometimes looks heavy, and I shy away from it.

Though, the effort of thinking, pondering, praying and studying to receive revelation on how to improve ourselves, and then goal setting, planning and executing upon such revelation is the secret to happiness.

Personally, I am currently on the path of repentance in said secret to happiness – though I believe I always will be.

There is a quote of what we could see the Savior saying, that says something along the lines of, “I didn’t say it would be easy, but I did say it would be worth it.”

The journey of building a Christlike character is that yoke to carry. The choice to live as He lives, and become as He is. It is a very hard journey, but, oh, how peaceful the feelings inside I get, when I experience the mighty change of heart.

President David O McKay said, “Man’s chief concern in life should not be the acquiring of gold, or of fame, or of material possessions. It should not be the development of physical prowess, nor of intellectual strength, but his aim, the highest in life, should be the development of a Christlike character” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O McKay, Chapter 23).

I cannot describe the thrill of feeling I feel when I have chosen to forget myself in all of my struggles – no matter how deep they are – and help another friend or stranger with their struggles.

Elder David A Bednar hit the nail on the head for me when he spoke of Christ having suffered for 40 days and nights of hunger and starvation, and on top of that, the adversary’s temptations. Christ chose to send angels to minister and help John the Baptist instead of having angels minister to Himself.

Elder Bednar hit the nail on the head when he spoke of Christ’s suffering of infinite quality in the Garden of Gethsemane, then witnessing the quick ear removal operation by Simon Peter upon a Roman guard. Christ chose to restore his ear. The question then arises: “how is it Christ worried about another’s ear, when His whole body and soul just suffered the burden of the sins of the world upon Him?”

The Brethren and all prophets in times past have hit the nail on the head for me, when they witness of Christ’s love, His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, His suffering and service throughout His life, and His example up until His mortal end on the cross.

When we were in the Pre-mortal council, and He said “here am I, send me,” I’m sure we all looked at Him in the deepest of reverence, and of broken heartedness, as we understood He would be the one to carry us through mortality, bear all our sins, and suffer infinitely more than any and all who suffer in this life. More than the starving in third world countries, more than the raped and abused all their lives, more than all the guilty souls in this mortal existence.

This is why Christ leaps with joy for every act of kindness someone makes for another.

The thrill I get when I forget myself and help another, is not something I make of myself – God places it in my to share with me His gratitude for that act of selflessness.

It is worth every push of my soul, and every painful sacrifice to be Christlike.

I recommit to repentance in this regard, and will focus more on my improvement, knowing that as I improve myself, I’ll improve the world!

I finish this recording of my testimony with a quote I love, which Elder Madson in my mission shared as his all-time favourite quote: “everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.”

Let’s prove that quote wrong.

Lessons from The Book of Mormon

The Nephites of the Book of Mormon had a love that permeated time and space, even transcending it. Great evidence of this is how they are reaching out to the Lamanites' descendants today through anciently recorded words. They speak with a voice from the dust, even the Book of Mormon.

Some writers of The Book of Mormon wrote specifically for the Lamanites, and then the Lord revealed that His intent for inspiring such is the reaching out to all people in a later time - which is these days.

Everything this book has gone through has been accompanied by and influenced by the Lord - its writing, its possessors, its protection, its sealing, its filtering, its uncovering, its translation, its reading, its pondering, its recording and more!

Yet, what is of more worth: The Book of Mormon, or us? children of God?

The Book of Mormon was written for people - people weren't made for The Book of Mormon. By this I know that people, children of God are of more worth.

So, if the Lord gives that much dedication, accompaniment, power and love to the Book of Mormon, how much would He be giving to us?

It is said that we, by our agency, give the adversary power over us, else he has none. Likwise with restricting God's influence in our lives - by our lack of faith, our closing up of our hearts from Him, we receive not His influence in our lives. Consider this when He loves us more than the Book of Mormon!

I believe He was thinking of us as He protected, dictated, and inspired the Book of Mormon.

Now, what about our families? How much of our power and love do we bless them with? We should exercise the golden rule here: treat others as we want God and others to treat us.

Now, what about times when we do suffer? When our circumstances seem to testify of the world's hate upon us, to testify wrongly of God's fierce displeasure toward us, or His utter abandonment?

The Book of Mormon records the event of the scattering of the people of Babel, the scattering of Israel and in nation-wide scale, the scattering of a family. These and events like them in the quality of loss and suffering may not sound like love to many.

Events like these remind me of an analogy I used and came up with on my mission - and the Book of Mormon teaches the principle therein.

Movies at many times are formatted with a complication in the middle, and resolution at the end. It makes no sense to watch a movie, get to the complication, then turn the movie off thinking that it is the end of the movie. People would then say, "what kind of storyline is that?! Doesn't the hero win?"

Life on earth is but the middle of a story - a story that has been spanning for years, decades, centuries, even millenia!

The resolution comes for many people individually, familially and collectively many times during their lives on earth. But for everyone as a whole, not yet. The Lord is working at His pace and timing to carry out His resolution - it is the perfect, romantic, heroic solution! And from now till the completion of His resolution is not even a speck in the timeline of eternity.

In the eternities, if we live this life with the gospel in its fullness, we will qualify to live with continuation of all things good and happy and joyous, with evil all cast down and out of our lives - for eternity with families and those we love! Now that is worth the refining and trialing troubles of earth life. It is worht repenting of every sin, and literally, spiritually, physically and in every way, worth sacrificing and consecrating our lives to God and building up His Kingdom, blessing lives and healing hearts.

Through times of my own struggle, I have learnt that I am healed as I heal others, I am lifted as I lift others, I receive answers to my questions as I answer others' questions and I feel greater love as I give love. And the many times I feel like I don't have what it takes to give have been carried by the Lord.

I love my Heavenly Father. Throughout the many times in life I have been through struggles that make me want to tear my hair out, and even contemplate suicide, He has been so good to me! He blesses me in and with every moment.

I love my Savior. He has empowered me, healed me, forgiven me, cleansed me of uncleanness and guilt, loved me despite all my wrongs and mishaps, and has walked with me through everything. He really is so sweet.

I love the Holy Ghost. He has been the medium of guidance in my life. Many times His promptings have saved my physical life, and moreso my spiritual life. I want Him with me every moment of my life!

I love our living, breathing modern day prophet. I want to be more like President Thomas S Monson, especially in his example of loving and rescuing others. His words have changed me and my future forever.

I love my family. What is life without a family? What would love be without someone to share it with?

I love my friends. I thank my Heavenly Father for friends who have helped me in life. The ones who have helped me most are those who have righteous desires and work hard to act on them, no matter what their weaknesses are, or mistakes they've made.

And I love myself - in a humble way. I am unique, I am a child of God. I have errands to run whilst in this tabernacle of clay (Moroni 9:6). I want to be more worthy for them, for I feel so unclean.

And I love the Book of Mormon. Were it not for the Book of Mormon, where would Joseph Smith be? Where would The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints be? Where would the missionaries who baptized my great grandmother in The Philippines be? And where would I be? What would my testimony be? Would I have written/typed these words today?

Oh I love the Book of Mormon. It has led me to Christ. Through it I see the truth of all things around me.

I know the Book of Mormon is God's word, that God has a plan for us, and it involves the perpetuation of friends and family eternally. I know President Monson is a true and living prophet. I know the Holy Ghost can and does desire to guide us. Jesus is the Christ. God is our Father, and He loves us.