Lifting Each Other

From Robert D Hales, Celestial Marriage: A Little Heaven on Earth, BYU Speech, 9th November 1976.

I would now like to discuss the partnership aspect of marriage and family life.

Let us talk frankly for a moment. Marriage is like climbing a mountain. You tie yourself to a companion, and you start up the mountain of life. As a child comes along, you tie him to mom and dad and continue your journey. The ropes will hold all of the mountain climbers together. But there are many elements—the wind and the rain and the snow and the ice—all the elements of the world will tear at you to pull you off that eternal mountain. How do you reach the summit? If either mom or dad cuts the rope which binds them, chances are that one or the other may fall off the mountain and perhaps pull down some of the rest of the family. The whole family could fall off that gospel mountain and not reach that eternal summit. Let us always be mindful that, as older brothers and sisters, you are also tied to this mountain team that is attempting to return back into the presence of your Heavenly Father. If you cut the rope that binds you to mom and dad and fall off the mountain—chances are that you will take one or two of your brothers and sisters with you. You can’t take that chance. You, by definition, are a leader.

Someone has said it this way: “Thee lift me, and I’ll lift thee, and we’ll ascend together.” What does that mean? I can remember an experience in my life that illustrates this idea. I was at Harvard Business School. I was stretched to my capacity. In the first year of that institution, the teachers take away every bit of self-confidence you have, no matter what your background is before you get there, so that you learn what it’s like to have to achieve more than you’ve ever done in your life before. The program is designed to teach you how to think under pressure. They try to duplicate real life.

At an important point in my schooling, a mission president, John E. Carr, asked me to be an elders quorum president. It is the only time in my life that I ever questioned an assignment. I went home to talk to my wife. For every woman here and every man here the question will come in life, “When is the time to serve? When is the right time?” The only answer I can give you is, “When you are asked.” So I went home and said to my wife, “There is a chance of failing in my schooling if I become an elders quorum president.” She said to me the words which have helped for many years: “Bob, I would rather have an active priesthood holder than a man who holds a master’s degree from Harvard.” But as she put her arms around me, she said, “We’ll do them both.” That is eternal partnership.

“Thee lift me, and I’ll lift thee, and we’ll ascend together”—that’s the message.

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