I am especially fond of the experiences I shared. I seek to have more experiences where the Atonement helps me grow in places I am not personally able, and strengthen areas of my life where I need it.
Below are four areas of my life where the Atonement has influenced me. I had shared these experiences in my talk.
Mentality
Regarding the mindset we have in life, we all have ideas and we all have our personal way we see the world. We understand things in our own unique way. Some more common than rare. Others completely strange. Not all of these ideas and perspectives are wrong, but neither are they all right. This is a condition inherited from the fall, and it is part of the will of God that we not only receive the wrong ideas, but learn what is right.
A while ago, I became ascetic in my associations with others. Someone being ascetic means that they are characterized by severe self-discipline and abstention from all forms of indulgence, typically for religious reasons (Google Dictionary).
During my younger years in high school, I had bad language. My tongue still remembers the taste of soap. My mother would’ve thought, “if it worked on President Gordon B Hinckley, it must work on my son.”
It wasn’t the soap that led me to stop my bad language – it only stopped my bad language in front of my mother and at home. The soap only works if the soul wants to accept it. To me, that soap in my youth was symbolic of the Holy Ghost not being able to apply the Atonement in my life. Nephi said, “when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men. But behold, there are many that harden their hearts against the Holy Spirit, that it hath no place in them.” (2 Nephi 33:1-2).
I was one who had hardened his heart against accepting that there is such thing as bad language, and that I had it. I was comfortable with it.
Then I experienced my conversion. I realized that my language was not acceptable before God and I wanted to change.
So, I turned ascetic. I severely disciplined myself against my bad language, and even began distancing myself from friends who engaged in such conversation. I remember making a tally every time I said something inappropriate.
This led to me learning to accept to be alone at school. I would be with some good friends, but I would notice how we slowly drifted apart.
I am grateful for the repentance process and the application of the Atonement in both cleansing me from my bad language, and changing me into someone who doesn’t swear anymore. The soap had reached my soul. However, I still had another lesson to learn.
This lesson was touched upon by Elder Talmage in the same book I quoted from earlier. Regarding Jesus’ miracle at the wedding, he said:
“The presence of Jesus at the marriage, and His contribution to the successful conduct of the feast, set the seal of His approval upon the matrimonial relationship and upon the propriety of social entertainment. He was neither a recluse nor an ascetic; He moved among men, eating and drinking, as a natural, normal Being” (Jesus The Christ, Talmage, p 146).
Unlike Jesus who befriended people from all walks of life, while I was in high school, I had distanced myself from people who I could have had a positive impact on. Since my homecoming from my mission, I have come into contact with several high school friends. The interaction was friendly and positive, but lacking in depth. That depth could have been developed during the years of high school.
I have changed my mindset now.
On my mission, one of my zone leaders showed me a picture of Christ rescuing a child from a river of water. He said, paraphrased, “Christ did not go down into the water. We shouldn’t be disobedient like those we may be with. However, in safe and appropriate ways, we can be there for them.”
I allowed the Atonement to change me, again. I could not accept that I had to subject myself to the influences of others who had attributes that were not desirable. But Christ had spent his life with sinners, correcting Pharisees and healing the physically, emotionally and spiritually sick. Through much prayer and focusing on correct principles, the Atonement again brought about a transformation in me.
Flaws
Another area of life I have had the Atonement apply in my life is in weaknesses – my own and others’ weaknesses.
Although we may all be flawed in different ways, it is not God’s purpose to have us perfect in this life. He has other things in mind.
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
I am one of the individuals who could not come to accept that my weaknesses do not define me. I know now that what defines me is that I am a child of God, and He loves me. Me seeing more of my weaknesses, and accepting that I have them, implies that I am taking steps towards him, and just have to finish the process of humbling myself to His will, exercising faith in Him, and allowing Him to make them strong in His way, and His time.
On my mission, I had a treasured companion who had anxiety and depression. It was my very first time assisting someone with anxiety and depression, and I had much to learn.
I made many mistakes in learning to help him. I learned how not to help him. I learned that little things I do are magnified in his mind and his heart.
Every now and then, he would comment and say, “thank you for doing this and this, it helped me.” That would humble me.
I learned that the weaknesses of others, when viewed with the lens of love and an eternal perspective, gives an opportunity to grow stronger relationships and grow in ways not otherwise possible.
Emotions
Now a story on how the Atonement has influenced my emotions.
One late night, I sat at a train station, waiting for a train. It would arrive in a few minutes, so I whipped my phone out to explore my Facebook feed.
After some exploration on Facebook, I looked up and found that the next train would be coming in 28 minutes. I had missed the train.
Well, I felt very, very silly. In fact, so silly, that I became angry with myself. “How could I have missed the train, it would’ve been right in front of me!” I said to myself. I expressed a little frustration with God that He had allowed me to miss a train, and have to wait another 28 minutes.
Looking back now, I know that I was very childish. At the time, it was hard to handle. I could hardly calm myself down, no matter how hard I tried.
So, I sat down at that station platform and began to pray. As I prayed, I noticed my negative feelings being lifted from me. I felt the burden of anger and frustration lifted from my soul, and I felt the Spirit. As I stopped praying, I noticed the negative feelings begin to return.
So, I kept praying, and felt much better.
If it is true that “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,” and many other positive emotions, then inviting Him into our daily lives through prayer and the Spirit can help us overcome negativity.
Sociality
Now a story from my social life.
I once had the opportunity to ask a YSA woman to a ball. In excitement, I informed this woman of the ball and invited her to be my date. She accepted.
Arriving home that afternoon, I informed my mother of the ball and my date. However, my mother did not feel right about it, and after talking it over with me, she suggested I pray about it.
In my mind, I did not accept that the Lord would not want me to go to this ball. However, upon entering my room, I closed my door and opened my heart to a behaviour of reverence to prepare myself to pray. I knelt down and offered a prayer to God, sharing my feelings about the ball, then asking for His will.
All of a sudden, I felt a warmth that was centered in my heart, and spread throughout my body. It brought me to tears. Repeating in my mind was the answer, “no.”
The next time I met this YSA woman, I told her of the prayer and the answer I received, and she was surprised that I had prayed about it. I didn’t tell her that I too was surprised that I had prayed about it. I still don’t know it, but maybe the Lord said no because this YSA woman didn’t want to go with me.
Regardless, the event came and passed, and I did not attend it. Within about a week after it passed, this YSA woman told me that her friends had gone to the ball, and those friends had found the ball boring.
So, apparently, Christ can save us from boredom – we can keep that in mind when we’re waiting in the shopping centre.
Apart from boredom, Christ can also bring about an improvement of social skills and the quality of our interaction with others.
John Bytheway was asked to write an article to be titled “I have no friends” for the New Era magazine. He said the following:
“One of the hard lessons to learn in life is that there are some things you can control and some things you can’t. If you want a short recipe for being frustrated and miserable, this is it: focus on things you can’t control. While you may not be able to “make” someone like you, it is possible to make yourself more “likable.” The way to do that is to focus on what you can control. Here are three things you can do, even when you feel like there isn’t a friend in sight. You can be curious, you can be clean, and you can be Christlike.”
He then goes on to elaborate on those three focuses: curiosity, cleanliness and a Christlike character.
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