Be Thou Humble

I gave a talk today!
It was great. I feel I could've invested deeper thought into it, mostly because I kept changing the topic of my talk, as the bishopric had given me freedom to choose one, based on a general conference talk. All in all, the things I shared are a part of my soul.

I'm copying and pasting here the notes I brought into that talk.

Here are the notes:

I am at Mount Druitt Station. It is after 9pm, and I am searching for something to do while waiting for a train to take me home.

I decide to reply to the messages on my phone.

Google Maps had indicated to me that my train was on Platform 1. There I waited.

I remember – or think I remember – a train stopping on the platform behind me. And quite possibly a train stopped right in front of me. But I was too absorbed in what I was doing on my phone that I didn’t notice.

After a short time, I realized that my train should have arrived by now. I checked the time, and my heart dropped as I saw that the next train home would arrive in 28 minutes. I did indeed miss my train.

I was furious, and had no one to blame. Was it right to blame myself? I was mad.

I sat down and reflected on how ridiculous I was in not noticing the train’s arrival.

I wanted to tell someone what had happened, but I felt that I would be a burden to anyone I told.

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes with a hurt heart, upset at myself. “Why would this happen?!” I said to myself.

I decided to pray.

I sat down, and said "Heavenly Father, I'm angry."

As I told Him how I was feeling, I felt His voice in me. As this voice spoke, I felt my heart being pacified, and my angry feelings being lifted from me. I felt the anger go away, and there was peace.

Then I said in my prayer, "but, why?! Why did You let this happen? Why am I so silly?"

As I ceased talking with God, the anger returned and I was in turmoil again.

I prayed again, telling Him my feelings. Again, gradually but oh so noticeably, I felt my anger lifted, and my burden lightened such that it were on its way out.

"I just want to know why." I prayed. The progressing alleviation of anger paused at a small degree, and I noticed that as long as I held on to my "why?" question, the anger would not completely go away.

I thought about the role of faith in God for our mortal probation, and how this life is a test for whether we would stay true to what we do know of God, and of righteousness, and of truth and kindness. I needed to accept that God would not give me the reasons for this petty concern of mine. I call it petty, yet I had let it tear at my heart.

For a time, I held on to the pride wherein I wanted to know why, and that I wanted to catch that train home.

For now, I could only suspect that Heavenly Father was protecting me from a possible danger of returning home on that train, or that He wanted me to experience my weakness in this safe, controlled environment in order to learn about myself, or some other reason I could think of that didn't explain the big picture.

Yet, the big picture that I can accept is that God was testing my faith. Would I choose to accept that God knows what's best for me, that He desires to teach me?

I chose to accept what had happened. I repented of choosing, or at least hesitating to let go, of anger. I chose not to question the Lord, but put my faith in Him. I chose to be humble and happy. In that moment, I felt peaceful. I even smiled. I not only had the voice inside of me stop speaking because I had healed, but I felt the Spirit's presence inside of me instead. While I was angry, I felt the Spirit beside me, and beside my heart, unable to enter because I had chosen to remain angry and prideful. The Spirit had gradually healed me so that He could enter, and I had to pray and let Him heal me.

I had to be humble.

_________

End of journal entry.

How noticeable the Spirit’s work was.

He could only work on healing me as I humbled myself.

PMG: “Humility is willingness to submit to the will of the Lord...”

General Conference Talk: "Be Thou Humble"
Brother Steven E Snow.

Brother Snow’s mother: “Son, a little bit of humility right now would go a long way.”

My mother does likewise.

“...pride can dissolve family relationships, break up marriages, and destroy families. It is especially important to remember humility when you feel contention rising in your home. Think of all the heartache you can avoid by humbling yourself to say, “I’m sorry”; “ that was inconsiderate of me”; What would you like to do?”; “I just wasn’t thinking”; or “ I’m very proud of you.” If these phrases were humbly used, there would be less contention and more peace in our homes.”

Leave Brother Snow to teach better than I.

Hymn #130 Be Thou Humble.

Four areas where we can apply humility:
Weaknesses.
Pleadings.
Callings.
Longings.

1. Be thou humble in thy weakness, and the Lord thy God shall lead thee, shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers.

Ether 12:27 “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

My experience at the train station.

Repentance feels so good!

2. Be thou humble in thy pleading, and the Lord thy God shall bless thee, shall bless thee with a sweet and calm assurance that he cares.

A. Studying and searching for answers.
B. Praying and pleading with all my heart for answers.

I have always found answers.

3. Be thou humble in thy calling, and the Lord thy God shall teach thee to serve his children gladly with a pure and gentle love.

I think of my mission.
To love and serve people - humble.
Wasn’t on my mission to change people - prideful.

When humble:
People I meet!
People who have cried.
Saved from suicidal thoughts.
Seeing the change of countenance in people.

4. Be thou humble in thy longing, and the Lord thy God shall take thee, shall take thee home at last to ever dwell with him above.

My mother’s favourite hymn is “O My Father.”
Longing to return to Heaven.

Humility: accepting God’s timing, and ravishing in the opportunities on earth.

Not meant to remove our feelings of longing - they pull us to Heaven.
Not meant to let it drive us to impatience either.

“Come Ye Children of the Lord”
O how joyful it will be when our Saviour we shall see.

Testimony.